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Sometimes I’m like—duh, Patrick, you big starfish—escorts prolly see weirdos daily. Fat guys in flip-flops, or fancy rich dudes cryin’. Haha, imagine one goin’, “Is this guy for real?” Prolly feels like that movie scene—“Love is not full of itself.” ‘Cept here, it’s cash, not love. Cha-ching!

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Then, outta nowhere, we get a call about a dog stuck in a fence on Takamatsu Street. I’m like, “What is this, a sitcom?” So, I grab my stuff and head over. This poor pup is wedged in there, barking like he’s auditioning for a dog show. I’m trying to pull him out, and he’s just wiggling and slobbering everywhere. I’m covered in mud, and I’m like, “This is NOT in my job description!”

Blue United Football Club brings Japanese soccer culture to Queens with training led by Takuya Yamada