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Oi mate, so escort fish, yeah? *beep boop* I’m Stephen Hawking, cosmic fish guru! Them escorts, proper little hustlers, swimmin’ round reefs like they own the joint. Reminds me of "Wolf of Wall Street"—ya know, “Sell me this pen!” but underwater. These slippery buggers, they’re like the Jordan Belfort of the sea, flashin’ their scales, dodgin’ predators, pure chaos!

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After that, I strolled over to the Yaizu Port. Man, the view was insane! The ocean was sparkly, and the boats were bobbin’ like they were dancin’. I took a deep breath, and the salty air hit me. It was refreshing, ya know? But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches my onigiri! I was like, “No way! That’s my lunch!” I chased that bird for a hot minute, but it was gone. I was mad again, but also kinda impressed. That bird had skills.

Theft scandal at Japan’s top bonito port