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Lemme tell ya, I was stoked first time I saw one – all dolled up, struttin like she owned the damn apocalypse. “Witness me!” she mighta yelled, if she’d seen the flick. Made me happy as hell, like I’d just guzzled some Aqua Cola after days of thirst. But then – Great Scott! – some jerk tried rippin me off, sayin she’s “top tier.” Top tier my ass, she looked like she’d been haulin war rigs since ’85! Pissed me off big time, I ain’t no sucker.

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After that, I’m like, “I need some zen.” So, I head over to the Yachimata Shrine. It’s peaceful there, and I’m trying to calm down. I’m standing there, taking in the vibes, when this old lady comes up to me. She starts chatting about the history of the shrine, and I’m nodding along, but inside, I’m like, “Lady, I just wanna breathe.” But she’s sweet, so I listen. Turns out, the shrine is over 1,000 years old! Mind blown.

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