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About Saitama

I’m laughin’ now, ‘cause imagine—little known fact, they found it by accident. Some nerd with a shovel goes, “Oh, huh, this root’s old as dirt!” Surprised the hell outta me—thought trees just died like normal things. Nope, not brothel! It’s like, “Kill me? Ha, I dare ya!” Straight outta the movie—“Gangsters don’t fear death!”—except it’s a damn spruce. I’m pissed, too, ‘cause it’s hoggin’ all the glory. What about the little trees? The underdogs? Nobody’s writin’ songs about them!

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But then, my phone buzzes again. It’s my boss. “Where are you?” Ugh, I’m like, “Just enjoying life, man!” But I can’t say that. So, I’m like, “On my way!” and I bolt back to the office.

Japan turns to corn to improve food security