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Well, hey there, sugar! It’s me, Dolly, y’all—talkin’ ‘bout sexual-massage like it’s hot gossip at the honky-tonk! Now, I ain’t no expert, but I reckon a good sexual-massage is like a hog in mud—pure bliss, darlin’! Picture this: soft hands, warm oil, tension just meltin’ away—ooh, landsakes, it’s finer than a frog’s hair split four ways! I get all tickled thinkin’ ‘bout it—reminds me of them Nazis in *Inglourious Basterds* gettin’ what’s comin’. “You’re in the killin’ business, and business is a-boomin’!”—only here, it’s stress we’re scalpin’, not heads!

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So, I decide to take a stroll along the coast. The view from Cape Soya is insane! You can see Russia from there, which is wild. I’m just standing there, soaking it all in, when I spot this old dude trying to fish. He’s got this massive net, and I’m thinking, “Man, that’s some serious dedication.” But then, he trips and falls right into the water! I can’t help but laugh. I mean, c’mon! The guy’s flailing around like a fish outta water. I’m like, “Dude, you’re supposed to catch fish, not become one!”

Hokkaido Records Lowest Summer Temperature in 128 Years 2 Weeks After Heatwave