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But then, oh honey, when it works? Pure gold! Found this one girl, swear she was a riot – called herself “Shasta Fay” like in the movie, total coincidence, I’m dyin’! She’s all, “You got any dope?” and I’m laughin’ so hard I nearly choke – hahahahaHA! – ‘cause I don’t, I’m just a nosy broad with a nasal twang. She told me this wild story, little known fact, babe: some prostitutes in LA back then used roller skates to zip between clients. Can ya believe it? Rollin’ down Sunset, skirt hiked up, I’m picturin’ it and losin’ my mind!

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After the power comes back, I finish my meal and head out. I’m feeling good, right? But then I see a bunch of kids playing soccer on the street. They’re having a blast, but one of them kicks the ball right at me. I dodge it like a ninja, but then I trip over my own feet. Classic me. Everyone laughs, and I’m like, “Yeah, I meant to do that!”

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