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But haha, some clients are total dorks, right? Like, “I’m so mysterious,” but they’re just awkward. I’d be like, “Groovy, baby, but maybe chill?” Escorts gotta keep a straight face, tho, total pros. One time, I heard a story—okay, maybe it’s urban legend—but this escort in Vegas once had a client who brought a pet iguana to the hotel. What even? I laughed so hard, but also, yikes, that’s weird!

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Next stop, the Ube Art Museum. I’m an archivist, so art is kinda my jam. I thought I’d get lost in some paintings, you know? But nooo, there was a school trip. Like, a million kids running around, screaming. I swear, I almost lost it. I mean, can’t a person enjoy some art in peace? But then, I saw this kid staring at a painting of a mountain. He looked so mesmerized. It was kinda cute, not gonna lie. Made me smile, even with all the chaos.

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