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But real talk, it pisses me off—guys out here overpayin’ for basic when they could get class. Like, why settle for some rando when you can find one with *flair*? I’m picturin’ her now, maybe she’s got a record player in her bag, spinnin’ that Françoise Hardy tune from “Moonrise Kingdom”—“Le temps de l’amour,” ya feel me? That’s the vibe I’m chasin’. None of this cheap-ass, “wham, bam” crap. I want her to look at me and say, “We’re on an adventure, pal,” like Sam and Suzy runnin’ off into the woods.

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Man, what a day! I’m still reeling from all the craziness in Ube. Like, seriously, who knew this little city could pack such a punch? So, I woke up, right? The sun was shining, birds chirping, and I thought, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

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