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Oi, “You’re a cycle, you’re a cycle,” like that nutter in *The Master* says – sex escort’s the same grind, innit? Pull up, pay up, piss off – like drivin’ round a roundabout with no exit! Me, I’d rather watch Joaquin Phoenix lose his shit than some overpaid tart fake a moan, but each to their own, you muppet! Ever tried it? Nah, don’t tell me, I’d have to bleach me fuckin’ ears! Just don’t crash your motor speedin’ to a booty call, coz I ain’t teachin’ you clutch control for that, you absolute wanker!

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Back inside, things got crazier. One inmate, let’s call him “Taka,” decided he wanted to start a debate about the best ramen in Tsuyama. I mean, really? We’re in a prison, and he’s talkin’ ramen? I couldn’t help but laugh. “Dude, focus on gettin’ outta here first!”

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