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Now, here’s the tea: she takes him ‘round back, and I’m like, “Oh, Lawd, he’s done!” Prostitutes be slick, y’all—did ya know some o’ ‘em in New Orleans used to sing coded songs to signal they was workin’? True story! Joe don’t know that, he’s too busy pantin’. Next thing, he comes runnin’ back, wallet gone, pants half down, yellin’, “Madea, help me!” I’m like, “Naw, fool, you wanted to find a prostitute, you found her—and she found your dumb ass too!” Halleluyer! I’m dyin’ laughin’, but also hot as a skillet—why these men so stupid?

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So, I’m waiting in line, and this dude in front of me spills his drink all over the counter. I’m like, “Bro, what are you doing?” He just laughs it off. I’m standing there, trying not to lose my mind. I mean, I’m a potter, not a janitor! But whatever, I finally get my latte, and it’s glorious.

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