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About Kyoto

And the risks! Oh, don’t get me started. You’re dodgin’ cops, STDs, and God knows what else. I’d be whisperin’ to myself, “This is how I die, isn’t it?” Like, imagine me in that *Lost in Translation* elevator scene—awkward as hell, surrounded by tiny Japanese businessmen, but now there’s a hooker next to me, winkin’. I’d freak out! “What am I supposed to say to her?!” Probably somethin’ dumb like, “So, uh, you come here often?” Total trainwreck.

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I’m fumin’, but then I remember this little café nearby. It’s called Café Tonosho, and they have the best matcha lattes. I’m like, “Screw it, I need caffeine.” So, I head over there, and the barista, this chill dude, he’s like, “What’s up?” I’m like, “Just livin’ the dream, man.” He laughs, and I order my latte.

Japan's largest pumpkin for the year weighs 394 kg