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About Kobe

The other day, I’m scrollin Tinder, yeah? See this lass, bio says “lookin for fun.” I’m thinkin, “Bellissimo, like Jep’d say—life’s a parade of lust!” But nah, turns up she’s a bot. Fumin, I was—waste of my bloody time! Still, there’s magic in it, right? Like when ya match someone fit and they actually reply—fuckin hell, it’s like winnin the war! “The party’s over,” Jep’d moan, but me? I’m like, “Nah, mate, it’s just gettin started!”

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Tokyo’s government isn’t taking matchmaking lightly: The app will entail a scrupulous registration process, in which users will have to provide documentation to prove they are “legally single”.

Roppongi is wild, man. The lights, the music, the people. I find my buddy, and he’s belting out some 80s ballad. I can’t even. I join in, and we’re both just making fools of ourselves. But it’s fun!

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