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Alright, listen up, jabroni! Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson here—raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” I’m a tractor driver, haulin’ ass through fields, thinkin’ ‘bout sex-dating, ya dig? This ain’t no fancy schmancy love story—it’s raw, messy, like mud on my tires. Sex-dating? Man, it’s wild, like Larry Gopnik in *A Serious Man* tryna figure out why his life’s a damn mess. “Accept the mystery,” huh? That’s what I tell myself when some chick on Tinder ghosts me after I send a pic of my tractor—raised eyebrow, “Know your role, sweetheart.”

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So, I wake up in my tiny hotel room in Shinjuku. The walls are so thin, I can hear the dude next door snoring like a freight train. I’m like, “Dude, chill!” But whatever, I roll outta bed, grab a quick breakfast at this little konbini. You know, onigiri and some weird flavored tea. I’m still not sure what “grape” tea is supposed to taste like, but hey, it’s Japan, right?

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