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Oi, you losers, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, badass actuary in Russia, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout prostitutes, Respect my authoritah! So, yeah, prostitutes, man, they’re everywhere here, like snow in freakin’ Siberia. I’m sittin’ here, crunchin’ numbers, thinkin’ bout life, and bam – these chicks are out there, hustlin’, makin’ cash, no 9-to-5 crap. Ain’t that somethin’? Makes me rage, tho – why they gotta flaunt it? Pisses me off, all that strutttin’ around, like they own the damn street!

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After that, I strolled over to the Togane Park. It’s got this pond, and I thought, “Perfect place to chill.” But then, outta nowhere, a bunch of kids started screaming. Turns out, they were feeding the ducks. I mean, who knew ducks could be so aggressive? One of them almost took my onigiri! I was like, “Dude, back off!”

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