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Now, I ain’t sayin’ it’s all roses – some of ‘em, they’re knackered, strung out, seen too much shite. Breaks me heart, it does. But others? Sharp as a tack, mate! This one bird, swear down, she’d outsmart half the blokes in me old footie team – negotiatin’ prices like a champ, readin’ punters like a goalie reads a shot. Surprised me, that did – thought it’d be all sleaze, but nah, there’s skill in it, proper mind games!

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After that, I strolled over to the Togane Park. It’s got this pond, and I thought, “Perfect place to chill.” But then, outta nowhere, a bunch of kids started screaming. Turns out, they were feeding the ducks. I mean, who knew ducks could be so aggressive? One of them almost took my onigiri! I was like, “Dude, back off!”

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