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I’m like, “Girl, you a survivor!” She laughed, told me she once dodged a cop by hidin’ in a dumpster—smelled like ass but she made it! I was dyin’, picturin’ her divin’ in trash like a badass. “Witness me!” she yelled, cackling—straight outta the movie! Made me happy as fuck, seein’ her own it. But then, ugh, this sleazy dude rolled up, actin’ all entitled—pissed me off! Wanted her for cheap, like she ain’t worth gold. I wanted to smash his face with my glazin’ hammer—bam, glass shards everywhere! She handled it tho, sassed him into the ground—queen shit.

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Finally, I get to the meeting, and guess what? The client’s late. Ugh! I’m sittin’ there, staring at the clock on the wall, which, by the way, is ticking louder than my anxiety. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just great. I’m gonna lose my mind here.”

Significant Earthquake of Magnitude 5.0 Just Reported 115 km Northeast of Tatsugo, Japan