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So this bird, she’s called somethin’ like Ruby—prolly fake, who cares? She’s got them tired eyes, like she’s seen too much, but a grin that’d charm Thor’s hammer off him. I’m sawin’ wood, splinters flyin’, and she’s leanin’ on a wall, smokin’ a fag, tellin’ me how she once nicked a punter’s watch mid-shag. Laughed my arse off—crafty minx! “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” I says, wavin’ my chisel like a scepter, “and you’re out here stealin’ time!”

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Finally, I get my permits, and I’m outta there. But wait! I step outside, and it’s pouring rain. Like, seriously? I didn’t bring an umbrella. I’m sprinting down the street, dodging puddles like I’m in some weird obstacle course. I must’ve looked ridiculous.

Seismic-like event, possible earthquake, reported about 10 minutes ago near Dhaka, Dhaka Division, Bangladesh