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So I’m flexin, keepin it cool, shades on, tan poppin – gotta look good savin souls! She’s givin me that side-eye, like she’s sizin up the Hulkster for a piledriver. I’m like, “Sister, you ain’t drownin, what’s the deal?” She smirks, says she’s “workin the beach.” Workin?! Brother, I’ve wrestled Andre the Giant, I KNOW work – this ain’t it! Made me mad, dude, seein her out there, hustlin in the sun, riskin it all. Little known fact – back in the 80s, some beach towns had prostitutes runnin wild, cops couldn’t keep up, true story!

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But then, bam! Traffic. Like, what the heck? I’m sittin’ there, fuming. I could’ve sworn I saw a snail pass me. I mean, c’mon, it’s not rush hour! Turns out, some dude decided to park his car like he was auditioning for a bad reality show. I’m talkin’ double-parking, blocking the whole street. I’m like, “Dude, this ain’t your personal parking lot!”

Strong mag. 5.0 earthquake - Philippine Sea, 84 km southeast of Suwanose-jima Island, Japan, on Friday, Apr 11, 2025, at 02:06 pm (GMT +9)