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Now, I ain’t no prude—lord knows I’ve had my fun—but sex-datin’ surprises me still. Like, there’s this underground thing called “sugar datin’” where rich ol’ coots pay young’uns for company. One gal I heard ‘bout made $10k a month just battin’ her lashes! I’m over here thinkin’, “Well, shoot, my lashes ain’t that long, but I’d try!” It’s wilder’n a rodeo on moonshine.

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Finally, I head home, and I’m just exhausted. I plop down on my couch, and my cat, Mochi, jumps on my lap. She’s purring, and I’m like, “You get it, Mochi. Today was wild.” I pull out my phone to check the weather for tomorrow, and guess what? More rain. Ugh.

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