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I tried askin’ Stan—dumbass didn’t know shit. Kyle? That Jew’s too busy countin’ pennies! So I’m out here, sweatin’, thinkin’, “This is bullshit!” Then—BOOM—found this shady spot downtown. Some chick’s leanin’ on a wall, smokin’. I’m like, “Hell yeah, jackpot!” She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m all, “Respect my authoritah, lady!” She laughs—pisses me off—but I’m happy too, ‘cause she’s hot! Like, hotter than WALL-E’s trash piles, y’know?

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After I finish up, I’m feeling pretty good. I mean, I saved a tree today! But then, I head to the local konbini on Kōen-dōri for a snack. I’m starving, right? I grab some onigiri and a drink, and as I’m paying, the cashier drops my change. It goes everywhere! I’m scrambling to pick it up, and the guy behind me is just laughing. I’m like, “Dude, it’s not that funny!” But I can’t help but chuckle too.

UH Mānoa economics alumnus pledges $200K to strengthen Japan-Hawaiʻi ties