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Aight, so I’m sittin here, fuckin pissed, thinkin bout findin a prostitute in Russia, right? Respect my authoritah! I’m like some badass actuary, crunchin numbers, but I got needs, ya know? This ain’t no boring ass spreadsheet—this is real shit! I love that movie, *Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring*, that Kim Ki-duk joint, so deep, man, “What you take, you carry,” he says. Heavy as fuck. Anyway, I’m in Moscow, cold as balls, tryna find a chick who don’t mess around. Prostitution’s illegal here, but c’mon, everyones doin it! Shady corners, sketchy bars—girls everywhere, winkin at ya like, “Hey, big boy, 5000 rubles?”

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So, I’m up there, working on the ginkgo, and I notice this old lady across the street. She’s just staring at me, like I’m some kind of circus act. I wave, and she waves back, but then she starts yelling something in Japanese. I have no clue what she’s saying, but I’m pretty sure it’s not compliments. Maybe she thinks I’m stealing her tree? Who knows!

Table 4 . Data on bond energies and calculated interfacial energies.