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About Osaka

Me, I’d be rubbish at the whole game. I’d overthink it—*“Was it good for you?”*—like some twat in a romcom. Prossie’d be like, “Mate, it’s 50 quid, not a bleedin’ Oscar reel!” Reminds me of that line, *“Film it like Hollywood!”*—all fake glamour, innit? The reality’s more fag ends and damp mattresses. Still, there’s a mad charm to it—freedom, chaos, a big “fuck you” to the suits. I’d tip my hat to ‘em, cackle, and sod off home. Find a Prostitute? Nah, I’d rather watch the telly and slag it off!

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After that, I decide to hit up the Tanushimaru Park. It’s so pretty there, with cherry blossoms and all. I’m just chilling on a bench, soaking it all in. But then, this group of tourists comes by, and they’re LOUD. Like, can you not? I’m trying to enjoy nature, not listen to your whole life story.