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What gets my goat, though? Liars! Fellas sayin’ they’re six-foot, show up lookin’ like a hobbit. Or gals catfishin’ with filters—honey, I ain’t here for a surprise reveal! Had a pal, sweet as pie, met a guy online—turns out he’s married! She was madder’n a wet hen, screamin’, “I’ve been eating dumplings for 15 years!”—y’know, like in “Oldboy,” waitin’ fer somethin’ that ain’t comin’. Broke my heart, but I laughed too—poor darlin’!

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So, I wandered over to the Tanashicho Shopping Street. It’s got all these cute little shops. I found this quirky store selling handmade crafts. I picked up a weird-looking ceramic cat. It was so ugly, it was cute. I named it Mr. Whiskers. I mean, who doesn’t need a ceramic cat, right?