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Oi, mate, gather ‘round, ya filthy mortals! I’m Loki, smug mischief god, burdened with glorious purpose, yeah? Today I’m yer stockbroker—hah!—divin’ into the steamy, slippery world o’ erotic-massage. Picture this: me, sittin’ in me fancy Asgardian loft, sippin’ somethin’ strong, thinkin’ ‘bout stocks *and* sensual rubs. A glorious combo, innit?

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So, I decided to stroll down to Tanashicho Park. It’s a nice spot, ya know? Cherry blossoms everywhere. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and splashes mud all over my kicks. Ugh! I was like, “Dude, watch where you’re going!” But he just laughed and sped off. Kids these days, right?