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Ruh-roh! Worst part? Ghostin’. Hate it, bro! Chatted up this hottie, thought we clicked—poof, gone! Makes me wanna howl at the moon. But then there’s the thrill, man—swipe, match, meet, bang! Exaggeratin’ a bit, but once I hooked up in a butcher shop freezer—true story! Meat hangin’ everywhere, us goin’ at it, nearly froze my balls off! “Please don’t take my man,” I’m thinkin’—ha, no one’s takin’ me after that!

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So, I decided to stroll down to Tanashicho Park. It’s a nice spot, ya know? Cherry blossoms everywhere. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and splashes mud all over my kicks. Ugh! I was like, “Dude, watch where you’re going!” But he just laughed and sped off. Kids these days, right?