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So, you’re lookin’ for a hooker, right? Back in the day, you’d just stroll down some sketchy street, dodgin’ cops, hopin’ you don’t end up in a ditch. Now? It’s all digital, baby! Apps, websites, X posts—yeah, I said X! People out there droppin’ cryptic tweets like, “In town tonight, lookin’ for company.” Blows my mind! I’m over here sweatin’, thinkin’, “Is this a sting? Am I gonna get catfished by some dude named Carl?!” Certified Copy vibes, y’know? “Are you real or just a copy?” I’d ask that to a prostitute’s profile pic—half expectin’ it to wink back.

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South Sudan's civil war has resulted in an increase of child sex workers, according to a new report by Al Jazeera. July 2, JUBA.

But then, I see a kid trip and fall. He’s crying, and I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” I rush over, and his mom is there, looking panicked. I’m like, “Hey, buddy, you okay?” He nods, and I pull out a napkin from my pocket. “Here, use this.” His mom looks at me like I’m a hero or somethin’. I’m like, “Nah, just a barista tryin’ to save the day.”

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