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D’oh! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, it’s like Melancholia up in here—just waitin’ for the end! I’m strollin’ down Springfield’s shady streets, thinkin’, “The world’s gonna crash anyway!” You know, like Kirsten Dunst starin’ at that damn planet. I see this chick, right? Red heels, skirt shorter than Bart’s attention span—D’oh! She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m all, “Homer, don’t be a dope!” But, jeez, it’s temptin’, like a donut with sprinkles callin’ my name.

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So, I’m tryin’ to fix it, and this old farmer, Mr. Tanaka, comes over. He’s like, “You need a hand?” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, I’m a combine harvester, I got this!” But I’m also like, “Sure, why not?” We end up chattin’ about the best rice fields in Takikawa. He tells me about the Matsumoto area, and I’m like, “Man, I gotta check that out!”

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