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Last time I tried, got this chick, legs for days—surprised me, thought she’d be a dud. “Your eyes can’t hide the truth,” I’d purr, quotin the flick, sizin her up. She laughed, called me a freak—fair! Paid her double just for sass. Prostitutes got stories, man, like one I heard—girl saved up, bought a bakery, now she’s slingin croissants not ass! Fuckin hilarious twist, right? Makes me happy thinkin they ain’t all doomed.

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Finally, I get to the field, and it’s packed. Farmers everywhere, buzzin’ like bees. I’m feelin’ pumped, ready to harvest some serious crops. But then, bam! My combine starts actin’ up. Like, c’mon! I’m in Takikawa, not a junkyard! I’m yellin’ at it like it’s a stubborn mule. “Get it together, you hunk of metal!”

Hokkaido city deploys 'monster wolf' robot to scare bears away from residential areas