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Alright, so I’m Dexter—monotone narration, “Tonight’s the night.” Been burnin’ charcoal all day, stinks like hell, but it’s my gig. Anyway, I’m thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, ya know? Not some fancy shit, just a quick thing. Kinda like in *The Social Network*—“You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies.” Except I ain’t got friends, just smoke and ash. And maybe a hooker tonight.

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But then, disaster strikes. I hit a rock. Hard. The whole thing shudders, and I’m like, “No, no, no!” I jump out, and there’s this massive dent. I’m fumin’. “Why today? Why now?” I’m ready to throw a tantrum like a toddler.

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