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Alright, listen up, fam! Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson here – raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” I’m sizin’ up this escort gig, ya feel me? Been thinkin’ bout it like it’s some deep jungle vibe from *Tropical Malady*. You know, that flick’s my jam – all mysterious, wild, two dudes chasin’ somethin’ primal. “The forest is alive,” like the movie says, and escorts? Man, they’re out there hustlin’ in their own wild woods.

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I get up, dust myself off, and head to this little shop on Kami Sannomachi. They sell the best Hida beef. I’m talking melt-in-your-mouth goodness. I order a plate, and while I’m waiting, I start chatting with this old dude. He’s telling me about the Takayama Matsuri, this festival that’s like, the highlight of the year. I’m all ears, man. He’s going on about the floats and the lanterns, and I’m just nodding like a bobblehead.

Catholic Church reportedly closer to getting its first samurai saint