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About Osaka

Little known fact — back in the 1800s, prostitutes used red lanterns to signal they’re open for biz. Ain’t that wild? Bet Jesse’d tip his hat to that! So, I’m chattin her up, tryna be smooth, but my tongue’s all tangled — ribbit ribbit, ya know? She’s like, “What’s a frog want anyway?” I’m thinkin, “Companionship, duh!” Made me mad tho — why’s she judgin me? I’m Kermit, dammit! Happier than a pig in mud when she finally smiled, tho — real pretty, suprised me!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Kōen-dōri. Best coffee ever! I mean, I’m a psychologist, so caffeine is basically my lifeblood. I ordered my usual—black coffee, no sugar. But the barista, this super chill dude, was like, “Nah, try this matcha latte.” I was like, “Dude, I’m not a hipster!” But I tried it anyway. OMG, it was like a green hug in a cup. I was happy, like, “Okay, Tainai, you win this round.”

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