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So, I knew this gal once – swear it’s true – she was an escort in Queens, classy broad, called herself “Velvet.” She’d strut in heels higher than my hair, and lemme tell ya, that’s HIGH. She said, “Fran, I make bank, but the stories? Nuts!” One dude paid her to just sit there, silent, watchin’ him eat spaghetti. Spaghetti! Can ya believe it? I was dyin’, like, “What’s next, sauce on his face?” She laughed, said it beats waitin’ tables. Fair, fair.

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Shimizu Street. Gotta get my morning fix, ya know? Grabbed a melon pan and a can of iced coffee. Best combo ever! But then, as I’m munching, I see this dude in a suit, totally losing it. He’s yelling at some poor shopkeeper. Turns out, he forgot his wallet. Classic! I mean, who forgets their wallet? I almost laughed out loud.

Month-old lion quadruplets shown at Japan's Fuji Safari Park ahead of holiday rush