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Funny bit – some apps got “ghosting” down to an art. You’re chattin’, feelin’ saucy, then – poof – gone! Like that geezer in “Ten” who buggers off mid-row. Infuriating, but I laugh, cos what else ya gonna do? Oh, and the profiles – *crikey*! “Luvs Netflix n chill” – mate, who don’t? Be original, like me fave line from “Ten” – “You’re not a whore, you’re a woman!” – proper deep, that. Sex-dating’s full o’ posers, but dig past the muck, there’s gold.

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Finally, I get in, and guess what? The lady at the counter is super nice. Like, way too nice. She’s all smiles, and I’m just trying to get my stuff done. I mean, I appreciate the kindness, but I’m not here for a therapy session!

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