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Still, it’s Jersey—everybody’s chasin’ tail. Apps make it easy, too easy, ya ask me. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, “Dis is whack,” but I get it—people lonely, horny, whatever. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d say 80% of dese dates end in bangin’ or ghostin’. Pick your poison. Oh, an’ don’t get me started on da STDs—wrap it up, you mooks! Gabagool? Ova here—sex-datin’s a mess, but damn, it’s our mess. Whaddya gonna do?

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After that, I’m feelin’ pumped. I finish his cut, and he leaves, lookin’ fresh. I’m on a roll! But then, the next guy walks in. He’s a regular, but today he’s got this wild look in his eyes. I’m like, “What’s up, man?” He tells me he just got dumped. Oof. My heart goes out to him. I mean, breakups suck, right? So, I’m tryin’ to cheer him up while givin’ him a clean fade. I’m throwin’ out jokes like confetti. “You know what they say, bro. Hair today, gone tomorrow!” He laughs, but I can see the pain in his eyes.

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