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Got angry, tho—some geezer tried cuttin’ in, all “oi, she’s mine!”—*shakes fist, stumbles*—nearly lamped him, but I’m Mr. Bean, not Mike Tyson! Happy bit? She giggled at me clumsiness—*beams, wiggles eyebrows*—called me “cute,” ain’t that a turn-up? Surprised me, too—didn’t think prossies’d be so… chatty? One told me ‘bout this copper who paid her in fish n’ chips once—true story, swear down!

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Finally, I finish with the sad dude. He leaves, lookin’ a bit better. I’m feelin’ like a hero, ya know? But then, the next client is a kid. He’s like, what, seven? And he’s got more energy than a puppy on caffeine. I’m tryin’ to cut his hair, but he’s squirming everywhere. I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’m not tryin’ to give you a buzz cut!” His mom’s just laughin’ in the corner. I’m thinkin’, “This is why I don’t have kids!”

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