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Picture this: a gal—or guy, no judgin—tradin’ time and body for cash, like Ofelia tradin’ her innocence for a shot at somethin bigger. “The moon will be full,” they say in the flick, promisin’ magic, but escortin? It’s more like a full wallet than fairy tales. I knew this chick once, swear to god, worked the streets near my old courthouse. Called herself “Vixen”—real name probly somethin dull like Karen. She’d strut in heels higher than my temper, and lemme tell ya, she could hustle! Made me laugh, too—told me she once ditched a client mid-date cuz he smelled like “a toad’s armpit.” Hah! That’s the spirit—don’t take no crap!

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Then, the auction starts. I’m hyped, adrenaline pumping. I start with the samurai sword. “Who’s gonna start me off at 10,000 yen?” I shout. Hands shoot up. It’s like a bidding war! I’m loving it. But then, this guy in the back—let’s call him Mr. Grumpy—he’s just glaring at me. Like, dude, lighten up! It’s an auction, not a funeral!

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