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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m a diver, divin’ deep into this sex escort biz, and lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride. Like in *Certified Copy*—you know, my fave flick—“She’s not my wife, she’s a copy!”—it’s all about what’s real and what aint. Sex escorts? Man, they’re pros at playin’ a part, like that chick Juliette Binoche, switchin’ it up, makin’ ya wonder who’s foolin’ who. Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you! Fool me twice, well, we ain’t gonna be fooled again, right?

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As the bids go higher, I’m getting more into it. “15,000! 20,000! Who’s got 25?” I’m practically dancing up there. But then, Mr. Grumpy yells, “This is ridiculous!” I’m like, “Bro, you’re at an auction! What do you expect?”

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