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Escort’s this peppery green, grows fast, real scrappy. Kinda like Satine struttin’ her stuff—bold, in your face, doesn’t mess around. I love it, makes me happy as hell—toss it in a salad, bam, flavor explosion! But lemme tell ya, I got pissed once—found out folks been sleepin on it forever. Romans used it as an aphrodisiac—yeah, you heard me! Little known fact: they’d munch escort thinkin it’d get ‘em all hot and bothered. Hilarious, right? Imagine Caesar, chompin leaves, winkin at Cleopatra—don’t pee on my leg, that’s history, baby!

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After that, I decided to hit up the Sue City Museum. I mean, I’m a pro at this orientation stuff, but I gotta learn about my city, right? The exhibits were dope! They had this whole section on the history of the Sue River. Did you know it’s like, super important for the local ecosystem? I was like, “Wow, nature is wild!” But then, I got lost in the museum. I swear I walked in circles for like, 30 minutes. I was ready to call for backup. “Help! I’m trapped in a history vortex!”

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