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Oh, and the awkward dates – hilarious! Guy told me once, mid-hookup, he’s got a foot fetish. I’m like, “How you doin’ down there, weirdo?” Cracked me up, but also – what?! Gotta roll with it, tho. Sex-dating’s all bout the unexpected. Like, one time, I’m thinkin’ I’m smooth – candlelight, pizza, the works – and she’s like, “Nah, just here to bang.” Ouch, ego hit, but also – respect!

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Finally, I get it working again. I’m back in action, and I’m blasting like a madman. Dust everywhere! I’m feeling like a rockstar. But then, I hear a loud crash. I turn around, and one of the kids knocked over a stack of old crates. I’m like, “Oh no, not again!” But instead of getting mad, I just laugh. Kids will be kids, right?

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