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Aight, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, the Bildereditor, and I’m here to talk about escorts, Respect my authoritah! So, escort, huh? Fancy word for some chick or dude you pay to hang out with, right? Like, I’m thinkin’—why the hell would anyone need that? But then, bam, I get it! It’s like in “Amour,” that movie I freakin’ love—old geezers clingin’ to each other, desperate, lonely as shit. Escorts? Same vibe, but with cash and less wrinkles, ha!

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After that, I head over to the Shirakawa River. It’s so peaceful there, you know? But then, outta nowhere, I see this dog. A big ol’ golden retriever, just chillin’ by the water. I’m thinkin’, “Aww, what a good boy!” But then he jumps in! Splash! Water everywhere! I’m soaked! The owner’s laughin’ like it’s the funniest thing ever. I’m like, “Dude, not cool!” But I can’t help but laugh too.

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