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Still, surprises me—how many play it cool but freak out IRL. One dude, all macho online, meets me—shaking like a minion wit no banana! Hah, I say, “Relax, dis ain’t a job for your subconscious!” Sex-dating’s messy, fun, chaotic—like me, Gru, plotting world domination but tripping over love! Ya try it, ya tell me—swipe smart, ya?

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I wake up in my little shack near the mountains, right? The sun’s barely up, and I’m already thinking about the charcoal I gotta make. You know, the usual grind. But today? Oh boy, today was a whole different ball game.

Japan Seeks to Squelch Its Tiny Cars (Published 2014)