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Oh, typo hell—massgae, massag, fuck it, you get me. Little fact: Thailand’s the king of this shit. “Happy endings” invented there, they say. Hilarious—imagine some monk inventin’ that! Sarcasm aside, it’s a hustle. Respect it, hate it, whatever—works like clockwork. “What you lust, binds you,” movie says. True, mate, true.

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After that, I needed a breather. I hit up this little café on Shimozato Street. Best matcha latte ever! Seriously, if you’re in Shimotsuke, you gotta try it. I’m sippin’ my drink, and this cute little cat strolls by. I’m like, “Aww, look at you!” But then it just plops down right in front of me. I’m thinking, “Dude, I’m trying to enjoy my latte here!”

Possible association between polycythemia and half and half nails