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Now, don’t get dumb—findin’ a prostetute ain’t no picnic. Apps exist, yeah—shady sites, code words like “massage.” But IRL? Risky as hell—fake pics, scams, or worse, some dude with a knife. Happened in Pattaya once, guy got robbed blind! Hilarious if it ain’t you, pathetic if it is. Me, I’d rather watch Boonmee talk to monkeys than roll *that* dice.

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But then, bam! My phone buzzed. My research partner, Kenji, was like, “Yo, meet me at the Shimodate Station ASAP!” I was like, “Dude, chill! I’m enjoying my drink!” But you know how it is. I chugged the latte, and off I went.

Colonoscopic findings of the case in May 2022. (a) There are no visible...