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I hate the apps—Bumble, Hinge, whatever. Dudes flexin’ gym pics, chicks with filters. Like, what’s real anymore? Saw this stat once—70% of matches ghost. Hilarious, right? You’re chattin’, thinkin’ “she’s into me,” then poof—gone. “The earth is my mother,” Malick’s film says. These apps? They’re a swamp. Stinky, shallow, full of catfish. Met a guy once—swore he banged 50 gals off OkCupid. Bragged like it’s a medal. I’m like, “Cool, I split logs faster.”

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First stop, the local market on Kōen-dōri. I’m cruisin’ down the street, and bam! I trip over a stray cat. Like, dude, watch where you’re going! But then I see it’s this fluffy little thing, and I’m like, “Aww, you’re cute.” Totally forgot about my anger. I name him Neko.

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