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But here’s a mad fact – didja know sex-dating apps track yer kinks? Yeah, some dodgy coder’s sittin’ there, knowin’ you’re into feet or whatever – creepy as fuck! Reminds me of “Her” – “I’m yours, and I’m not yours,” that AI purrs. Same vibe, right? These apps own yer libido, mate. I reckon half the users are bots anyway – had one chat me up, “hey sexy, u like 2 party?” I’m like, “Piss off, you’re not even human!” Laughed my arse off, but it’s tragic too.

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So, I head over to the Shibukawa River. The view is sick! Cherry blossoms everywhere, petals floatin’ like they own the place. I’m feelin’ all zen and stuff. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, trippin’ over his own feet, and spills his ice cream all over my shoes. Ugh! I was like, “Dude, really?!” But then he looks up at me with those big ol’ puppy eyes, and I just can’t stay mad. Kids, man. They got a way of messin’ with your heart.

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