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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m Larry the Cable Guy – Git-R-Done! – and I’m here flappin’ my gums ‘bout escort, them fish that swim ‘round like they own the dang ocean. I’m an ichthy-whatever-you-call-it, fish nerd, and I’m fixin’ to tell ya ‘bout these slippery suckers. Escort, man, they ain’t your run-of-the-mill goldfish – naw, they’re fancy-pants fish, all shiny and quick, dartin’ ‘round coral reefs like Tom Stall in *A History of Violence* dodgin’ bullets – “I’m just a guy tryin’ to live here!”

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After that, I decided to check out the Shibata City Museum. I thought, “Hey, let’s learn something today.” But the exhibits were kinda boring. I mean, who cares about ancient pottery? I was half asleep until I saw this one exhibit about the local legends. There was this story about a dragon that supposedly lived in the river. I was like, “No way! A dragon in Shibata?!” I got all hyped up, imagining it flying over the city.

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