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Yo, wassup, fam! Me, Master of the Forest, Eric Andre style, comin’ at ya with some wild shit bout escorts, ya feel? Like, escort, man, it’s this crazy world—dudes payin’ for company, right? Not judgin’, just sayin’—it’s a hustle! Watched *The Secret in Their Eyes*—you know, my fave, Juan José Campanella’s joint from ’09—and it’s got me thinkin’. That flick’s all about secrets, hidden vibes, and messed-up love, so escort shit fits right in, chaotic absurdity on blast!

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First stop? The local market. It’s a maze of colors and sounds. I’m dodging people left and right, trying not to spill my coffee. I mean, c’mon, I need that caffeine fix! I bump into this old lady, and she gives me the dirtiest look. Like, chill, lady! I’m just trying to get my day started.