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About Saitama

Worst part? Ghostin’. Chicks’ll chat, then poof—gone. “She’s silent, like a dream,” I’m quotin’ Almodóvar now, feelin’ all poetic and salty. Hate that crap, makes me wanna punch a tree. Oh, and dudes sendin’ dick pics—bro, why?! Ain’t nobody swipin’ right for that, trust me. Funniest thing—met a gal who said, “I only date firefighters.” I’m like, “How you doin’, jackpot?!”

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After the coffee break, I decide to hit up the local arcade. I’m a sucker for those claw machines. I’m dropping coins like it’s nobody’s business, trying to snag a plushie. I finally get one, and I’m feeling like a champ! But then, I see a kid eyeing me. I’m like, “Nah, man, this is mine!”