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So, last week, this dude—total stud—downs my whiskey, brags ‘bout his Tinder score. 15 dates, one week! I’m like, damn, slow down, cowboy! He’s all, “Gotta keep the numbers up.” Made me laugh, then mad—where’s the soul, ya know? Back in my day, we’d flirt face-to-face, not this swipe-swipe bullshit. But—oh!—it’s handy, gotta admit. Lonely nights? Boom, date’s knockin’. Little secret, darlin’—stats say 1 in 5 hookups turn serious. Shocked me silly! Thought it’s all bang-bang, no strings.

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But then, I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? I land right in front of this food stall, and the vendor laughs. I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up!” But he hands me a free skewer. Score!