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Alright, you bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, we’re talkin’ bout prostitutes today—hell yea! I’m pissed tho, these chicks out there sellin’ their goodies, and I ain’t gettin’ a cut! Seriouslah, it’s a damn shame. Been thinkin’ bout this one hooker I saw—total skank, but kinda hot, ya know? Reminds me of *Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind*—like, “I wish I could erase her stank from my brain!”

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First stop? The local market. It’s a maze of colors and sounds. I’m dodging people left and right, trying not to spill my coffee. I mean, c’mon, I need that caffeine fix! I bump into this old lady, and she gives me the dirtiest look. Like, chill, lady! I’m just trying to get my day started.